Sunset is an angel weeping
And night slowly draws her veil over the world
As I am drawn into the darkening forest
Among Tall trees reaching into glimmering twilight
Gently stroking the sky in silent supplication and longing
Still Rooted deep in the clay of history obscura;
The past omnipresent but frozen, a field of crumbling statues
Breathing but mute, watching and waiting for time.
It can’t control us anymore.
We judged the past unimportant to our friendship
Instead marveled at the present, dreamed of the future
Worshiped at the sanctuary of Reason and
Adored the beauty of mystery.
You were aware of your limits and confessed them freely
Using the ten words that define intellectual honesty:
“I’m sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question.”
The vapor trail of your intelligence
Was informed by this practical humility.
You gave me the space and grace to be real.
The moon’s borrowed light cools the trees singing
To the caressing scented wind with the sound of rushing water
Awash in hyacinth, jasmine and mesquite.
A puma stretches and growls in the distance,
A raptor sails overhead in silent, ardent pursuit.
Your wit spanned the chasm from the exalted to the puerile,
Full of mirth and mischief, groaners and quips,
“Get thee to a punnery!” I once told you.
Roaring laughter.
Every time we spoke of chemistry, you reminded me
Of things I had forgotten, and taught me things I did not know.
In exchange, I gave you comic relief:
“Ah, Michael, Michael, Michael. It pains me to say this,
but I think you are living proof that a little knowledge
(e.g. of chemistry) can be a dangerous thing.”
I am running onto the desert floor, vast and indifferent
Chasing a dim awareness, just out of reach
Chasing the Fisher King beneath a bridge of stars.
Somewhere among these petroglyphs
A songbird is perched on a wire fence
Unseen but in plain sight in the cool, living night
Forever uncertain, silently watching the wind pacing
Furtively through the tall grass of memory.
In your cadence I learned patience, while
You listened to understand, not merely reply.
Take a beat.
Allow thought to percolate through the bedrock
And emerge clean, precious and life affirming.
Fellow traveler, thought partner,
I carry you with me as a presence, like my skin
Close to my heart; you are a candle in the darkness
In this demon haunted world.
You are completely irreplaceable, and utterly necessary.
Whatever your shortcomings or frailties,
Whatever way you believed you fell short,
You were my friend, and I loved you.
I wake into our shared reality
Riven with loss, longing and loneliness
And stumble down the dark hallway
Stifling my sobbing
So I do not wake my wife.
I deeply hope it is true that
Deep within pain there is a map
That leads to wisdom.