The disadvantage to leaving the place of your birth is that the distance removes you from the currency of information that you took for granted before you left. And things can happen pretty rapidly, so one day you wake up and find out that one of your oldest friendships has been cut down by the Emperor of all Maladies.
I was 18 when I started work at AtoZ TV in Cheektowaga, NY, and there I met Pat (it was Cuddihy back then) and Linda Wassell. When Linda and I married, Pat was Linda’s bridesmaid.
It is impossible to overstate the positive influence Pat had on my life. I was quite a fool back then, a mess of unresolved traumas, adrenaline rage, and self-pity. So, “she was a friend to me when I needed one / if not for her I don’t know what I’d have done.” Looking back, I cannot imagine what made her want to befriend me.
She was all heart, but committed to veracity, and her gentle but persistent delivery made it possible for me to hear many things that I needed to, but could not hear from others. I received her intellectual challenges as non-threatening, and was impelled to question the assumptions and prejudices I was carrying. At the beginning, it was a materteral (feminine version of avuncular), or “big-sister” kind of vibe. She was one of the few people who persistently encouraged me to continue my education. That one thing alone is a gift beyond measure – I was, after all, a high school dropout.
To me, Pat was (in no particular order) a democrat, a humanist, a flower child, an artist, an excellent writer, and a feminist. It was a range of knowledge and wisdom to which I had little exposure, and even less understanding. Above all, she was a dear friend.
She is the one who put me on the road to understanding that women’s rights were actually human rights, and a much fuller understanding of the role government policy plays in the perpetuation of poverty. There are far too many satori to list. Over the years, there have been many, many, multi-hour telephone conversations that ran over every possible topic. We fixed all the world’s problems, “but hey” we laughed, “nobody listens to us!”
I came to adore her intellectual curiosity, her emotional intelligence, and her commitment to decency, fairness, and justice (to the extent it is possible in an imperfect world). She was compassionate and empathetic to a fault.
I am permanently indebted to Pat for her significant part in helping me become a (relatively) well-adjusted and functional member of society. And as I aged and matured into someone worth knowing, I am grateful that I was occasionally able to enlarge her worldview, as well. As the disparity in our ages and life experience narrowed, the seeds she planted became a well-tended orchard.
Right to our last conversation, she was asking about new techniques in presenting her art, and I just had this deep and comfortable feeling that a mind so alive and curious would simply last forever. Alas.
Patty, I will miss you terribly for the rest of my days. And as I continue to walk through this world, I will bring with me and freely share the best parts of you, which you graciously shared with me.
Nothing survives but the way we live our lives.
SORBINI – Patricia E.
Of Buffalo, entered into rest August 14, 2019. Beloved wife of Russell Brown; devoted mother of William Cuddihy and stepmother to Zeke and Max Brown and Harvest Villemyer; cherished grandmother of Emma Rae and step-grandmother of Jazmyn, Kylin and Jackson; loving daughter of the late Silvio and Rachael Sorbini; dear sister of Robert (Julie) Sorbini; fond aunt of Robert Sorbini; also survived by many friends. No prior visitation. A Celebration of Life will be held at a later date. Arrangements by Lombardo Funeral Home, (Southtowns Chapel). Donations may be made in her name to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and UNYTS. Condolences may be shared atwww.lombardofuneralhome.com